


Agatha Wellbelove and the Mysterious Case of the Missing Brownies

by confessionsofachocoholic



Series: Carry On Countdown - 2019 [3]
Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: AKA Simon has no brain to mouth filter when high…, Accidental Drug Use, Agatha Wellbelove does weed and you can't convince me otherwise..., Alternate Universe - College/University, And They Were Dorm-mates..., Baz and Agatha freaking out for a hot sec, Brownies, COC - 2019, COC - 2019 - DAY 18: Crack!, Carry On Countdown 2019, Crack Fic, Crack Treated Seriously???, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Gen, I've never had weed (or any recreational drugs) so if this is inaccurate that is why..., M/M, Multi, Platonic Cuddling - but not exactly..., Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Platonic Relationships, Sexual Humor, Simon "Bottomless-Pit" Snow, Simon Snow has the muchies, Simon eats Agatha's brownies, bc ofc he would, edibles, explicitly stating sexual acts you would like to engage in with your crush..., pot brownies, why is there already a tag for that??, y'all it's late and I'm tired…
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-18
Updated: 2019-12-18
Packaged: 2021-02-26 09:16:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21847312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/confessionsofachocoholic/pseuds/confessionsofachocoholic
Summary: COC - 2019 - DAY 18: Crack!Simon eats some brownies that he thinks belong to Baz; they do not.Baz finds a Tupperware container filled with brownies on his bed, some of the brownies are missing but they aren't his…That can only mean one thing…
Relationships: Simon Snow & Agatha Wellbelove, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch & Agatha Wellbelove, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch & Simon Snow, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch & Simon Snow & Agatha Wellbelove, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Series: Carry On Countdown - 2019 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1555441
Comments: 4
Kudos: 73
Collections: Carry On Countdown 2019





	Agatha Wellbelove and the Mysterious Case of the Missing Brownies

**Author's Note:**

> Hey y'all, this is very belated and I have other WIPs for the COC that come before this but aren't done, so here… take this from my tired aching hands and run…  
> p.s., this has not been beta'd… pls have mercy, don't @ me!  
> p.p.s., author is _tiiiired!_

Simon

It’s not every day that one comes across a box of baked goods in their dorm room, so today must be my lucky day. The only thing that could make this situation better is if this box was filled with sour cherry scones instead of brownies, but food is food and I’m not going to turn my nose up at it just because it’s not my preferred snack.

I take a bite of one and… Christ, this is probably the best brownie I’ve ever had! It’s crispy and flaky on the outside, but the middle is smooth and fudge-like.

I don’t think these brownies are mine, but they’re probably Baz’s and we share food all the time now; I’m sure he won’t mind…

After that I close the box and put it on Baz’s bed – complete with a note – because taking three brownies would be pushing it…

I grab a few things before leaving the room because, let’s face it, those brownies won’t stand a chance with me around…

***

Baz

I’ve come back to the dorm room to put away my books and take a fucking nap, but there’s a complication keeping me from the latter; namely, the plastic Tupperware container with a note with Snow’s chicken-scratch scribbled all over it.

It’s a bit difficult to decipher, but it seems my roommate has written an apology for eating two of my brownies, which actually _aren’t_ my brownies…

They must be Wellbelove’s… and if they’re Wellbelove’s brownies, that can only mean one thing…

Simon “Bottomless-Pit” Snow is probably walking around baked as a fucking cake.

This does not sit right with me, not at all. Well, I guess I can kiss my well-deserved nap goodbye. I have a call to make.

Agatha

My mobile rings loudly as I’m paying for my matcha iced-tea latte and handing my re-usable cup to the cashier.

I put it on silent. I’ll check who’s called, _after_ I collect my drink.

This little hipster café reminds me of my time in California; I suppose that’s why I came in. I still haven’t decided whether or not I want to go back…

My name is called out and I thank the barista who’s just placed my order down on the counter.

I finally take a sip of the tea. Thankfully it doesn’t taste like dirt – ordering matcha tea is like Russian roulette; addictive, yet dangerous.

I take my phone out of my pocket and see that Baz has tried calling me… twice. Baz knows how much I hate phone calls; and I know his feelings are more or less the same as mine on this particular matter…

If Baz is calling me there could be an emergency. I call him back and wait for him to pick up.

“Wellbelove, is there anything I need to know about your brownies?”

“ _Fuck!”_ I yelp, warranting an offended gasp from an elderly woman on my way out of the café. “How many did you have, Basil?”

“None.”

I sigh in relief, pressing a hand to my heart; feeling it’s _too rapid_ beating slow to an acceptable pace, taking deliberate and gradual breaths as I come back down from my momentary panic.

_“Why,”_ I hiss, through gritted teeth, “did you scare me like _that,_ then?”

“Well, _I_ didn’t eat any of your brownies,” Baz retorts, just as scathing, “but it seems like _Snow has.”_

“Shit.” I mutter, trying to make my way through a rather large and inescapable crowd. _“I’m on my way now!”_

***

I knock twice on the door and to my surprise Simon answers.

_“Agatha!”_ Simon leans on the doorframe, looking at me with half-lidded eyes and a big dorky grin.

“Simon, may I come in?”

“Sure! Do you have any scones?” He has the munchies – _of course._

“No, I don’t…”

“Aw…” Simon slumps.

“Snow, just let Wellbelove in.” Baz calls from inside the dorm.

The silly beaming expression reappears on Simon’s face as he trots into the room – I follow suit, taking a seat on the floor – and flops face-first onto Baz’s bed. Baz just spins around in the desk chair and shakes his head.

“Snow, that is _not_ your bed.”

Simon winds his arms around one of Baz’s pillows and murmurs a muffled approximation of “I don’t care”.

“Get up.”

“No.”

Baz flexes one of his exceedingly long legs to nudge Simon with a socked foot.

“Forget it, Baz – I’m not moving. It smells nice; like your posh soap.”

“Well budge-up, I’m sleepy…” Baz says, rubbing his eyes.

Simon lets out the faintest grumbling sound and rolls onto his back, his left side pressing up against the wall.

Baz

I stumble over to my bed and lay alongside Snow. It’s a bit of a tight squeeze but we make it work; he shifts to lie on his side and pulls my back flush against his chest, holding me the way he did last week when I was smashed out of my mind.

There’s not much I can remember from that night, before the point at which I made it back to the dorm – _home._ I stumbled in and Snow caught me before I had the chance to fall on my arse. Simon ended up holding my hair back and soothingly rubbing my back as I wretched – which has made it difficult for me to look him in the eye since these events transpired. The aftermath of my drunken escapades however, were indeed worth it as he held me in his arms and made me his little spoon. Of course, I’m not daft enough to think this means he _actually_ likes me, but he does care to an extent, which pleases me…

“You’re cold.”

“Yes, poor blood-circulation does that to a person.” I say, dryly.

“Why are you cold?” Snow whines.

“Did you not hear what I _just_ said about poor blood-circulation?” I turn my head ever so slightly in case he didn’t hear me the first time.

Simon Snow wriggles against me and hitches a leg over my thigh, his strong arms softly squeezing my middle.

“Snow, what are you doing?” I ask; more for him than me – being cuddled by my beautiful, kind-hearted roommate has sent me to a realm of bliss I didn’t think existed. You’d think it was _me_ that ate the pot-brownies.

“Trying to warm you up.”

Wellbelove smirks up at me from the floor. “I think it’s working, Simon. Basil’s gone all red like a tomato.”

I feel Snow lift up on one elbow so I roll onto my back to look up into those blue eyes of his. Then the fucker ruins the moment by booping my nose.

My entire face scrunches up as he sprawls out on top of me; the action reminds me of one of those cats that lie on their owner’s laptops.

“Baz,” he says solemnly, “you’re the prettiest tomato I’ve met.”

I sigh, “Why is it always food with you?”

“Well, you’re the prettiest _person_ I’ve ever met. But you would make an excellent tomato.”

I scoff.

“Even prettier than Aggie, to be honest…”

“Hello! Right here!”

Simon

“Oh. Agatha, when did you drop by?” I ask. Did I see her before? I don’t think so… unless?

_“Simon!”_ She reaches up to my bed _\- wait_ my _bed?_ Agatha chucks my pillow at me. She misses and hits Baz in the face. _Oh yeah, I’m on Baz’s bed._

“That was uncalled for, Wellbelove.” Baz complains into the pillow – _wait, I’m on top of Baz in his bed…_

“Basilton, I let Simon in the door and then the man has the freaking nerve to ask when I _‘dropped by’?_ Now, _that_ is uncalled for.” Agatha argues.

“Oh my, I wonder why Simon is forgetting things right now? Obviously it couldn’t possibly be because of _your_ brownies…” My roommate counters, his gorgeous face still hidden from view.

“There are brownies?” I ask. Baz lifts the pillow off his head to raise an eyebrow at me.

“Yes, Simon,” he sighs. “There are _special_ brownies. You ate two of them and scared the shit out of me.”

“What scared you?” I ask – this is confusing. “Are you jealous of the brownies?”

“Why would I be jealous of the brownies?”

“Well, I ate them, yeah?”

“And what of it?”

“Well, I’d like to eat you. Out, I mean. I’d like to eat you out.”

Agatha

“Wow. That took a turn.” I say.

“ _Simon_ ,” Baz says, firmly, flipping the pillow into my lap. “I’m not saying that’s a _bad_ idea, but something like _that_ requires a fair bit of talking first. And I would prefer to have this conversation when you aren’t in this state.”

“What, the state of crushing on my rather fit roommate?”

“Hey, still here.” I say, but those idiots only have eyes for each other.

“No. Wait does that mean you-?” Baz tries to get back on track. “No. Simon, you’re high.”

_“High?”_

“Or stoned.”

_“Stoned?”_

“My weed is fucking with your brain.” I try.

“I didn’t do weed. I’m an innocent angel.”

“Innocent angel, my _arse._ ” I mutter.

“Snow, Agatha has _pot-brownies_. You didn’t know about them, so when you found them, you ate two.”

“Oh that makes sense.” Simon agrees. “Are we gonna fuck?”

“Again, still here.” I say.

“No, Snow.” Baz really has the patience of a _saint_ right now. “We are not going to _fuck_. For now we are going to stay here and _rest_ because I need my beauty sleep.”

“But you’re already beautiful.” Simon gives Baz the sappiest grin I’ve ever seen. They’re so adorable it’s gross. I think that’s my cue to leave.

“Alright, lovebirds, I’m off to see if Pen’s willing to let me crash in her dorm.”

And then I go.

Baz

Agatha Wellbelove just left me with a very high and affectionate roommate on my hands. _Well fuck._

“Simon, stop flirting with me.” I frown.

“You don’t like it?” Well shit, now I’ve upset him.

“I don’t want to be getting my hopes up, in case you don’t like me tomorrow.” I answer honestly. He may remember this confession tomorrow or he may not. I don’t care if he knows now, even if he doesn’t like me back. I’m just sick of hiding.

“Yeah, well you have nothing to worry about.” Simon chuckles, reaching forward to run his hands through my hair. “I actually do really like you, you see…”

“Sounds like something someone would say if they were trying to get in my pants…” I reply.

“I don’t want to get in your _pants_.” Simon says. I raise an eyebrow at him. “Well, I don’t _just_ want to get in your pants. I’d like to kiss you actually; and hold you. We can go on dates or just stay in and watch movies on my laptop while we cuddle.” He sighs. “Basically, I just really like you and I’d like to be your boyfriend, if you want that too. What do you say, Baz? Wanna give it a shot?”

“Ask me again when you’re sober.”

Simon

“I will.” I promise, both to him and myself.

There’s a beat of silence.

“Can I spoon you again?” I ask. “Nothing else, it’s just. You know-”

“What, Snow?”

“Let me hold you? I won’t be a pest, promise.”

“Alright. Goodnight, Snow.”

“Goodnight, Baz.” I pull my roommate against me, our legs tangling together as we spoon.

Baz

I’m pretty sure Simon is asleep, until…

“Baz.”

“Sweet fucking Jesus. What now, Snow?”

“I’m hungry.”

I groan.

**Author's Note:**

> Yay!! You got through this fic!! I got through this fic!!


End file.
